Old posts posted

Just posted 2 old posts. 😃

This morning I was all emotional. I just wish I was the one with the fertility problem. I can tell you that I would be more proactive than dh. I would of stopped tobacco use immediately, like after the dx in 2006. I would have done everything in my power to get where I needed to be for myself and my spouse. Before we got married we had agreed to have kids right away. I was 29 when we got married and I wanted to have a child before I was 30. Well here I am 31, going to be 32 next year and nothing. I wanted to see RE in Jan or Feb to get the ball rolling. Several weeks ago while reading the RE clinics ivf folder, I found out that we need to be on antibiotics 6 months prior to the procedure. So that is why I wanted to go in early this year and start maybe in July so we can have an August transfer. I expressed this new find to dh and we got into an argument. Maybe be we spoke about in bed but he was upset...he was saying, I thought we already talked about this. Well, what did we talk about? He of course annoyed answers back again you should know. Well, in my mind I had different scenario than what we had talked about in the past. All I can remember we spoke about was that I was making an appt to see the RE in the summer. And that I would give him time to quit. But since my new findings my mentality changed. He said he wanted to get himself straight. This coming year we will get you pregnant one way or another.

28 weeks...Goal 10 more weeks

We have made it this fare my little sweet babies...can we make it 10 more weeks? This Wednesday is my glucose test/ob visit. I hope all continues well...can't wait for next detailed ultrasound. Hopefully we can get 3D again to see those little cute faces.

Your Body:Woohoo! You have hit the third trimester mark, so add another notch to your belt (both figuratively and literally).


Your Baby:As the Big Day nears, your baby is getting ready to go towards the light at the end of the tunnel (the tunnel being the birth canal, the light being the one the doctor is shining directly into it so she can see what the heck she's doing). Other highlights this week:Your baby's eyes are partially open now and can blink. Truly superior babies can actually wink. (OK, there is no way to prove that, but it's fun to imagine, no?) Your baby can also now become a shiny, happy person as she has begun having rapid eye movement (Get it? REM? Shiny, happy person?? We'll be here all week.)Her eyes have color now, too. It may not be the color she ultimately ends up with, especially if they're light gray or blue. The eyes typically don't settle on a final hue until nine months after baby is born. So when your mother-in-law says that the baby has her eyes, you can politely inform her that they'll most likely change soon. Sorry.Your babe is downright chubby compared to a few weeks ago. She is about 15 inches long, about the length of an amusement park cinnamon-sugar-coated churro (yum!), and weighs 2 to 3 pounds.

I am good!!

At my annual appointment and this time not bothered. I believe in miracles and it can happen if it is Gods will. I feel at peace and am good with my two babies. They are healthy, beautiful and growing up with Christ in their lives. I am married to my soulmate and have a wonderful marriage. Now that I am less stressed at work I am working on me to get myself healthier and back I’m shape.

CHEERS!! 🥂👨‍👩‍👧‍👦💏

On a side note: When I was leaving my appointment and crossing the road to get to my car, this older gentleman waved at me and he was going to pass by me in his car and said are you pregnant? And I said oh no I am just getting out of my appointment. He said I was going to congragulate you if you were. He asked if I had kids and I said 2 and would love to have more but it’s not happening…

When I talked to my mama she said that was maybe an Angel. She had had dreams that I am going to have another baby. I guess we shall see, if it is in Gods plan - it Will HAPPEN. In my car when I got in- the song “Thy will be done” was playing.

Still bothers me

After all this time, every time I come to gyno appointment I am reminded of my infertility. Nurse asked any birth control and listed all and I said no not on anything can't get pregnant. Needed help to get pregnant for my kids. I am absolutely grateful for them. They are smart beautiful and wonderful kids. Love my OB, just hate the waiting room and annoying nurse questions.

Long time no post

Hello, not sure if anyone reads or follows this blog anymore, it's more for me than anything. But you are welcome to read. Update: my sweet babies are big kids, 5 years old and thriving. I love them so much and thank the Lord for them. Just praying for you 1 more healthy baby. Kiddies r praying too!! Today at OB and just got my 1st prescription of Chlomid. Was gonna wait but be of my low ovarian response going to start taking now (cycle day 5). Praying for a miracle. Will keep my posts updated!! Also, doing acupuncture too!!

Here I go again

It was up in the air if we would try again, why would I want to put myself through something else? Well after much thought and deliberation we decided to give it 1 more 'ol try. This time it will be IUI. Why do it again, last try didn't work. Something is tugging on my heart strings for another baby. This weekend dh mentioned that one of his college buddies wife is due with her 4th. YeA the same couple that got married a week before us in 2005 and were announcing their 1st pregnancy months later. I remember then how my heart sank when I learned the news. It kinda sank a little this time too although not as painful bc I have to beautiful souls with me. So, here I am at the drs office waiting to be seen to see what our action plan will be in the next few months. I am going to remain cautiously optimistic, if it is in Gods plan then it will work!! If not then I will be sad but thankful that I have my Charlie $ Chloe in my life. I am so thankful for them to have made me a momma. I love them with all my heart & Soul forever!!!!

Time heals but you don't forget

It's been awhile since I posted. I am doing pretty good. As time passes I'm healing but I won't forget. It almost feels like it was another lifetime, like it didn't happen. I am so imersed in my life..work, job, kids/hubby that I haven't put much thought in my events. Occasionally I'll have flash backs, but they don't hurt as much to think about. I love you my little angel baby in heaven!!

Waiting for my 2nd opinion

Not looking forward to this visit but I need to do this for my peace of mind. This just sucks!!!! I wish this was not happening to me. I wish I was pregnant with a healthy baby. I've been making it...somehow. I feel like if don't think about it this is not really happening to me. 2012 & 2007 are 2 years that I will remember sadly.

Update:
Confirmed, baby is no longer with us. It's hard but I'll be ok & will get through this!

Waiting to see my beautiful baby

At RE 10min past my appointment....will be worth the wait!!
*****************************
Update:
Olive is my angel baby.

MY MISDIAGNOSED MISCARRIAGE STORY

Wow, from my research I now realize this is a little more common than I thought. I truely had a misdiagnosed miscarriage. I beleive my little baby is a healthy late implanter and I feel like now I can really breath a sigh of relief for tomorrow. I will see you my beautiful Olive!!!

Here is my story I posted on the misdiagnosed miscarriage web-site. I almost can't believe that I have and am going through this. This truely blows my mind.

If you are doing ivf please read my story and always ask for a 2nd opinion before you do anything you are not ready to do and ALWAYS listen to YOUR GUT!!!!!!

Helene's story:

We have beautiful 21/2 year old twins by ivf and we were ready for 1 more baby so here we are. LMP: 4/2/12 Transferred 1 beautiful embryo (3 day): 4/17 Started light spotting 4/29

1st beta hcg= 48: 4/30 1st thing nurse said it is positive but with a low number...may not be viable pregnancy.

2nd hcg= 70: 5/2 Not hopeful but we will continue to monitor & she mentioned it could be ectopic with those low numbers. Wow, I thought how could that even be possible but it can happen. Still trying to maintain optimistic.

3rd hcg= 106: 5/4 It is not doubling like it should, shy of 60-66% . At this point I felt devastated & felt like it was over.

4th hcg= 226: 5/6 Went to RE & they did ultrasound. Of course to early to see anything, no fluid or blood near tubes/ovaries -slight chance of ectopic.

Doc still sounded a little hopeful & they will keep monitoring. My mom kept hope & prayers even though I had given up. So I started having hope again & am praying for a miracle baby. That Monday is when I found this web-site on Monday & you gave me hope.

5th hcg=5/8: 294

This time when I got a call from the nurse she said it was a failing pregnancy & they wanted me to start tonight with cervadil to expel contents of uterus & if my numbers rose then it was ectopic & then I would take methotrexate. I asked if we could wait, I wasn't ready to give up yet. So they gave me 1 more day.

I wanted a 2nd opinion & called my OB. At 1st I gave my background....they told me a nurse would call. Didn't hear back soon enough & I called back. I told the nurse my cycle time, positive pregnancy test & I was bleeding & worried about a miscarriage. She said it was normal to bleed early in pregnancy. It is too early for scan but they will do blood hcg. I asked what numbers cou be & she said numbers & also said even in the 200's. Well, I went & got my blood drawn:

6th hcg=5/8: 349

They wanted me to return in 48hrs.

Took hcg @ lunch for RE: The Lord heard our prayers & our little beans number went up to: 434!!!! (7th hcg 5/9)

The RE nurse spoke to doc & they still suspect ectopic (which it is not!!) but want to do an ultrasound that Thursday. On my way to my appointment there was an accident on the road with a 2-3hr delay (Devine intervention: YES!!).

I thought yeay, more time for my little bean to grow. I called my OB to see what my hcg was for the day:

Friday 5/10 = 594(8th hcg).

That made me feel at ease!!!

At 8:30am was my RE appt. & praise the Lord: There is a baby in my womb!!! Dr found a yolk sac with fetal pole...measuring smaller than it should be. He did not sound optomistic and prepared me for miscarriage do to size & my numbers. I told him I understood he has to be pesimistic but I am optomistic & hopeful.

Continued to be monitored by OB and with Friday's result they told me to draw again on Monday.

9th hcg= 5/14: 1300

With that result they said draw again in 48hrs.

10hcg 5/16= result: 1638 The OB called me today around 1pmish and said the OB wanted to me right away and so an ultrasound. Didn't tell me why but I know why: they suspected ectopic which I knew it wasn't.

I thought yeay, this is my chance to see my little bean and see that he/she has grown and maybe I could possible see a heartbeat.

At my scan scheduled for 3:30pm I saw the tech (nice lady I had seen with my twins). Of course I was a little nervous but knew everything would be ok. The scan began and I could immediately see the baby area in my womb. As she got closer (zoomed in) I saw how much my little baby had grown and:

WE SAW A HEARTBEAT!!!!!! THANK YOU GOD!!!!!

That was amazing, the baby is measuring 5w1day, a bit behind since I am 6 weeks according to LMP. I saw the OB and she said it was amazing that we saw the heartbeat this early and to be cautiously optimistic. There is always a risk of miscarriage up tp your 12week. I left feeling happy & relieved. I am soo happy I listened to my GUT!

I know I am not out of the woods but I am thankful I found this site you gave me hope. I pray that this is a miracle baby. To who ever is in the same boat as me. Don't give up, stay Positive & always get a 2nd opinion. Make sure you have clear conscious before you make any decisions. If it in God's plan then it will be. I will continue to update. Still going to RE this Friday for their ultrasound. This little baby will surprise them & I can't wait to see the look on their faces.

Update from my Friday RE visit: We saw our little baby's heart flickering. Dr said baby has had significant growth, still measuring a week behind. I can be cautiously optomistic. I think he was shocked!! I knew that we would see our baby's heart beating...will remain positive & optomistic!!

Next ultrasound is this Friday 5/25. Praying & hopeful to see that our little bean has grown.

What your Doctor may not know about your pregnancy after IVF

Hope by Louise Carey at AllPosters

Because of the growing number of women who realize their miscarriages were misdiagnosed, I like to get any information out there that may help women in determining whether they are going to miscarry or are misdiagnosed.

If you have had IVF and are being told that your gestational sac or baby looks one to two weeks behind in development during the first trimester, this one is for you.

Keep in mind, miscarriage is unfortunately all too common. Reading this study will not magically change the course your pregnancy will take. It will however give you information that may save your pregnancy if you are misdiagnosed.

I believe every woman deserves to have no doubt before having her pregnancy ended.

The Study Gestation sac size in in-vitro fertilization pregnancies Summary: The gestation sac size in pregnancies resulting from in-vitro fertilization (IVF) and embryo transfer have been compared with those in spontaneous pregnancies. Small-for-dates gestational sac sizes were found in 36% of the IVF pregnancies. This proportion held for both singleton and multiple pregnancies. With increasing gestation beyond 8 weeks the gestation sac volume increasingly approached normal. In contrast to spontaneous conceptions, IVF pregnancies had a low rate of pregnancy loss once fetal heart movements were demonstrated, when the gestation sac size was small-for-dates. Small sac size in an IVF pregnancy may lead to the misdiagnosis of a failed pregnancy.

What Does This Mean For You? Take this to your doctor If you have had IVF, you are more likely to pushed into D&C earlier than most women based on what I've been told by women online. If you just wandered into a doctor's office pregnant, the doctor knows your dates may be off and there is more room for error in his eyes. However if he is certain of dates due to the IVF procedure, he is definitely more likely to doom your pregnancy earlier. We this see this quite a bit. Take this information to your doctor. Unless there is an immediate necessity to end the pregnancy, ask to wait out the diagnosis. Some doctors really don't like to be second guessed so sometimes it is better to say something like, "I know you are probably right, but for my own peace of mind, I'd like to wait a bit longer and see what happens." Ask for a follow-up ultrasound at least seven days out. You want to give that sac enough time to grow adequately. You stand a much better chance of seeing that baby a week out rather than two days out if you are misdiagnosed. And, yes, sometimes we have to wait a few weeks to find out we're misdiagnosed. We've found most misdiagnosed women see their babies by nine weeks but, yes, some women are even further along amazingly enough.

READ THIS!!!! Misdiagnosed Miscarriage

Misdiagnosed Miscarriage:
How often does this occur? From Charles Lockwood, MD, the Chief of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Yale-New Haven Hospital.

"It's a pretty rare event," Dr. Lockwood says, "but we do see it happen. Sperm can remain active and viable in a woman's reproductive tract for up to six days," so conception can be much later than a woman (and her doctor) anticipated.

Dr. Lockwood sees this most often with IVF or other forms of assisted reproductive technology. "Even when we think we know with incredible precision when the date of conception is, we can be three or four days off. Delays in women's ovulation and/or an embryo's implantation can occur. I have seen twins that are both growing at a perfectly normal rate but one of them has been nearly a week off."

So a fertilized egg can take several days to implant and begin growing in a woman's uterus, leading to initial hCG tests and ultrasound results that seem to indicate an embryo that is slow to develop and therefore likely to be miscarried. In fact, the embryo is simply behind schedule due to its later-than-expected implantation.

But usually, if it looks like a miscarriage, it is.

"The vast majority of times that we see blood pregnancy hormone (hCG) levels rising slowly, or a sac in the uterus that isn't doubling in size appropriately, it turns out to be a miscarriage," he says, "It doesn't end happily."

But, he cautions, "If there is no heavy vaginal bleeding, people shouldn't be in a hurry to end the pregnancy until they're confident it's not viable. What I tell my patients is, 'I'm not absolutely certain [this is a miscarriage]. I'm pessimistic, but I'd like you to come back in a week.' Then they are better prepared psychologically for what might happen."

Paul Blumenthal, MD, the director of family planning services and research at the Stanford University School of Medicine, talks about his experience with what he calls "erroneous diagnoses of missed abortions."

Bleeding in the initial stages of pregnancy: "The fact of a pregnancy establishing a foothold in the uterus causes bleeding," "And hormone levels fluctuate, leading the uterus to let go of some of its lining sometimes. Usually, in the case of bleeding, the pregnancy's continuation is tenuous. It's only possible to diagnose a missed abortion if you wait a few days after the bleeding" he said.

If in an ultrasound you see what appears to be blighted ovum:

"This is a new conundrum people face," he said. "We don't want people to get upset by the [ultrasound] technology, because when we're looking at an early pregnancy, we can't be sure which side of the coin we're coming down on-a pregnancy or a missed abortion. That's why we've got to wait a few days and test again." (And, I might add, it's probably a good idea not to break out the Johnny Walker until those second test results are in.)

In the future it may be possible to measure hCG levels more precisely with at-home urine tests, says Dr. Blumenthal. So a woman who is not sure of her diagnosis might be able to test daily and watch if her levels are rising or falling.

Online community of women like me: A completely unscientific source and found more than 250 stories posted online by women who have gathered at a site called Misdiagnosed Miscarriage. These are other women who have been told they are miscarrying, only to discover their embryo is viable.

The reasons for the misdiagnoses chronicled on the site vary, from a tilted uterus preventing an accurate ultrasound to "blighted ovum" diagnoses early in pregnancy, before a potentially late-developing embryo had a chance to appear.

Kay Cilenti founded the site in 2005, after she went through the experience, and subsequently heard similar stories. "Women need to know that they can ask questions of their doctors," she advises.

"They have the right to a second opinion if something feels off with the diagnosis or they feel they are being unnecessarily pushed toward ending the pregnancy quickly. Doctors who bring up the M-word early [in the first few weeks of pregnancy] drive me nuts."

I've lived through two M-words, so I thought I knew everything there was to know about it. It turns out out I was wrong, as was my doctor. Now that M-word for me is miracle.

Will it continue to survive? Will this new baby stop our hearts once again with more drama? For me, every additional day I get with the little being is like a gift. I've already mourned its passing, so this is now a bonus baby as far as I'm concerned.

Miscarriage Misdiagnosed: Surprise, I'm still pregnant! by Erica Kain

Olive give them a show

Tomorrow morning is my next ultrasound. I am talking to Olive and telling him/her to give us another good show. I'm a little nervous but oddly calm too. I am definetly having some pregnancy symptoms. Will post tomorrow as soon as I can.

To clarify a previous post

Was looking at the EHD.org site and realized that they have baby description based on day of fertilization. So when I looked up 4 weeks pregnant and saw their video it was actually a 4 week old embryo heartbeating like a 6th week pregnancy. That makes more sense, I was in awe of the early embryo videio they show. I did not realize how early the relfexes, stimulis begins. Even with little paddles as hands I saw movement from the embryo. That is amazing!! God is GREAT!!

7 weeks today!!

I really feel like I had a late implanter so Olie is where he/she is supposed to be. Even though I should be 7 weeks I am in the 6th week of growth for baby.
6th week embryo development: Your baby, now called an embryo, is clearly visible on ultrasound. He is about 1/8 of an inch long, about the size of a grain of rice. When you're 6 weeks pregnant, his nervous system and all major body organs — heart, kidneys, liver, and lungs — begin to form. Facial features — jaw, cheeks, chin, nose, and eyes — begin to develop around the 6th week of pregnancy. Your baby's heartbeat is beating about 80 times per minute and gets faster each day.

Overdue Picture

This morning I took a long overdue test...my at home hcg test. I also took my 1st belly shots and will add this to my scrap book. I am excited to share that after seeing the heartbeat at OB on Wednesday I went shopping for Maternity cloths!! I have been waiting to shop for awhile.
So little Olive: grow for momma. I know you will and won't cease to amaze us. I love you!!!

Ultrasound pic

Went to RE yesturday and at my appointment what felt like it was forever waiting doc Will finally came in and we started the scan. He zoomed in and we saw the flickering little . I said aloud: THANK YOU JESUS!! Even though I felt confident that we would see the little flicker. The dr said the baby has grown significantly, still measuring on the small side. He told me to be cautiously optimistic and wants to see me next Friday. He said the baby will catch up or not...I am praying for the 1st. He gave me a big hug afterwards...told me he knew this had been an emotional roller coaster. I said yes and I am happy that we have a heartbeat. So until the next ultrasound....

Praise Jesus

Praise the Lord, we have a HEART BEAT!!!
It was miraculous to see the little heart beating. Baby has definitely grown, they said Olie is measuring 5 1/2 weeks.
I am ELATED!!

At OB for ultrasound

Today's hcg= 1638
Good news it is rising (looks like @ 72hr rate). Read today that boys have lower hcg levels, low rates can be normal.

Now I am waiting for for scan. Going to see my little bean. Hoping I can see the heartbeat today. Although may be too early. Hoping my little Olie has grown!
Will update later.