It still gets to me

I still get bothered seeing little babies and me not having one. My SIL asked this weekend how long we have been married and I said it will be 3 yrs this June. Her youngest will be 2yo this June, made me think that is how old our child would have been had i gotten pregnant the year we were married. Didn't work out, I still have empty hands and a heavy heart. I try and not show my depression but it comes out whether I try and hide it or not. Only when I am like that does it bother Eddie and he thinks about it. It bothers him too but I know not as much as me. I will try to focus on the positive things in my life and know that we are right around the corner for our experience in parenthood.