Check this out -assvice

Comebacks for Assvice from fertiles...Thanks to you could always adopt (posted – Dec 30th 2005). . .
Inspired by Yellowgirl, some of these are hers, and I will post for your enjoyment!!
1. Assvice: You can have one of my kids, they are driving me crazy!(From someone who is also pg. * Your two are already used--I want a new one. Can I have the baby when it's born? (yellowgirl)* Let's go to a lawyer to draw up the papers--I want this done legally.(Yellowgirl)* Well, I wouldn't think of ever asking you for one, but since you mention it, I accept. THANKS. Can I have the new one? (Yellowgirl).* Sure, but don't come try and take them back next month!* No thanks. I don't like those. Can you make me a new one?* No thanks. Yours are already potty trained. I was looking forward to changing poopy diapers.
2. Assvice: You could always adopt.* Adoption. Never considered it. Since you offered, why yes, I'd love to! (Yellowgirl)* Adoption--great! Do you *just* have 10k I can borrow? (Yellowgirl)* What?? And miss out on morning sickness and stretch marks! No Way!!* No thanks. I was looking forward to giving myself shots during IVF.* I want an excuse to eat for 2 for nine months.* Adopt? And miss out the opportunity of cursing my husband during labor for knocking me up?* Adoption? Sure, but there is a shortage of infants. Can you make me one and I will adopt it?* Great idea!! Will you do the homestudy for me?
3. Assvice: Maybe it's not in the cards for you to have children.* Oh, I better become a crack whore then, because it's sure in the cards for them to have kids.* Maybe it wasn't in the cards for you but the stork delivered to the wrong house!* Nah! The stork's just pissed off because my cat killed one of his bird cousins!
4. Assvice: If you just relax it will happen.* Next time they are sick or in pain, tell them it will go away if they "just relax."* When they are screaming of labor pains, tell them, "Just relax and the baby will pop out. The baby doesn't want to come out and hear all that screaming."
5. Assvice: Take a vacation and you will get pregnant.* That's right, my sperm will be stronger/eggs will be better if they get to go to the beach.* A vacation! My reproductive system has already been on vacation for (insert time you have been TTC).* No thanks. I'd rather throw away $10,000 in another failed IVF cycle.* I can't. My RE is taking a vacation with the money from my last IVF cycle.* No thanks. I don't want to get pg by having sex! That's disgusting!!* I can't. I just bought a new car for my RE's kid.6. If you adopt, then you will get pregnant.* But I only want one kid. If I got pg after, I would have to abort it.* After spending 20,000 to 30,000 dollars in adoption fees, I won't be able to afford to get pregnant.

Top 5 Ways To Know That Trying to Conceive Has Made You Bitter (from Prop your hips up and other useless advice – posted 12Dec2005)
1. You scream "SUCK IT UP!!" at the woman on TLC's A Baby Story who is saying, "I can't, I can't" and who earlier in the epsiode was rambling on and on (and on...ad nauseum) about how easy it was for them to get pregnant.
2. The words baby dust make you want to gag. I think that shit might be ricin.
3. You shudder visibly everytime you have to give (((HUGS))) to someone. When did "I am sorry" stop being comfortable for folks?
4. When yet another freaking person says "I think this is your month", you craft diabolical plans of car damage...sugar in the gas tank? ice pick to the tires? (Personally I prefer tire iron to the windshield).
5. The phrase positive thinking is what produces positive results sends you into a pissed off rage.

I love reading IF blogs, you can never understand what a person is going through unless you have been in their shoes. And these ladies are fabulous.

Update from us: Eddie had his interview this past Tuesday. I feel totally confident that he is getting that job and we are moving in January. Can not wait to move and not have to come back here to live!

Here is a wonderful prayer my mom gave me and I am praying it every night. It will only come true if you have faith and if you leave all your worries up to him to handle…so I have with hopes that we will soon be blessed by the most beautiful, happy and brilliant of souls.

Querido Dios mió,
Tenemos mucho amor para dar y mi esposo y yo deseamos compartir nuestro deseo con un bebe. Te pedimos que tu y los Ángeles nos ayuden a concebir. Por favor enviamos uno de tus almas mas felices y brillantes a nuestra vida y deja que esta alma feliz y brillante se convierta en nuestro bebe.
Gracias Dios mió!!