No baby VENT!!!

Sorry but I am feeling soo frustrated with no babies today. I went to lunch and saw a mom most likely close to her 40’s with 3 freaking little kids…a pre-scholar, a toddler and a little baby – a complete family unless they are trying for a boy. Then on BOTB I already see moms that I tracked when I first got interested in it already trying and some pregnant with baby #2. I just feel so jealous and powerless that I can’t control something we want so badly. Maybe I should just stop looking at all of that all together because it depresses me. Same as last night I was watching babies’ special delivery and it made me want to have a baby right then and there. It is also hard to see celebrity moms or expectant moms. Maybe I should just ban myself completely form all baby stuff on TV and on the internet. Maybe it will help but no matter where I go I see families with babies or pregnant moms. I just try to totally ignore them, especially if they walk right past me. I am not looking at your stinking little booger. Yesterday I went by my sister desk and there was another baby..I went by the mom and said how count and she ignored my comment or maybe she didn’t hear me…whatever. Then I don’t know why but I went by K desk to see picture of her little rat and I also looked at Bev’s desk to see pic of her 18YEAR OLD PREGNANT SLUT. There is another daughter slut upstairs..her 3rd kid and she is not even marries. So we are going to VA in September and little freaking K and C will be around with J puling out her B everywhere feeding the little parasite. I will be jealous always until I get mine. I hope we do move early just so that it can help distract me of my empty womb and arms…oh by the way I am very soon going to start cycle #15…what a depressing number. Maybe I should just stop keeping track of everything all together that way it won’t remind me of what a failure each cycle has been. Also I should not be a freaking verifier; I miss too many darn freaking things…at this moment I feel like the biggest loser in the world